


it's me for you

by qiras



Series: reylo week 2018 [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, anyway they're dumbasses and i love them, ben is an awkard virgin Doing His Best, but mostly ben, rey is a thirsty thirsty girl, reyloweek2018, they probably both cry during sex, this is basically just smut, touch-starved space virgins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 23:12:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14436210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qiras/pseuds/qiras
Summary: somehow, rey has gotten the idea into her head that ben doesn't want her, and well, that just won't do.written for reylo week day three: touch





	it's me for you

**Author's Note:**

> this is like... my third time writing smut so dhdhdhdh

She’s in his quarters after dinner. Ben walks in and Rey is standing there in her night-clothes, which are comprised entirely of one loose, short shift somewhere between a shirt and a dress and a very short pair of shorts that barely peek out from beneath the nightgown, looking so young and sweet and pure, different than what he knows her to be and yet what she is (in comparison to him) all the same. He swears-- out of shock and something close to pain-- and says, “Kriff, Rey! You scared me!” But he doesn’t spend more than a second on that before asking, rapid-fire, “What are you doing here? Is something wrong? Is there something you need?”

Rey looks up at him through beautiful, coal-black lashes, tilts her head to the side, and asks (heartbreakingly), “Don’t you care for me?” Ben splutters. “Of-- of course I care for you. Don’t you-- don’t you know that?” he says with a plaintive note in his voice.

She reaches out and laces her hand in his, and he finds he cannot deny the joy that surges through him (that always has, since that first tentative brush) at her touch. “Yes,” she says, and he breathes a sigh of relief. “But...” Rey bites her lip, and a knot in his stomach tenses again. “What is it, then?”

His eyebrows draw together. “What do you mean?”

“What is it?” she repeats, as if he should know exactly what she means. “Do you not find me attractive? Am I just... not your type?” Her face twists up with that last, unfamiliar phrase that Poe probably introduced her to.

Meanwhile, Ben’s brain is threatening to short out. “What do you mean?” he repeats dumbly.

Rey bites at her bottom lip and takes a deep breath. She says bluntly, “Why don’t you want to kiss me?”

Ben stares. “Where the kriff did you get that idea?”

“I tried to kiss you yesterday in training,” she says, giving him a strange, confused look. “You ran away.””

“Uh...”

She tugs her hand away from his grasp, and he feels her loss keenly.

“You haven’t talked to me at all today! You’ve avoided me, actually!” Rey buries a hand in her loose dark hair and tugs, then rubs at her cheek. “I came to apologize, actually, for making you uncomfortable, but I just--” she shrugs-- “I was curious.”

Ben’s brain is most certainly not functioning any longer. “You tried to kiss me?”

“I thought that was kind of obvious, when, you know, I touched your face and stood on my tiptoes.” Rey’s tone is bitter, almost, but he knows better than to assume she’s upset with him.

And Maker, of course she’s upset. They’re the only two people in the galaxy with this amount of issues.

He laughs a little, and Rey’s eyes go wide with hurt. He can nearly hear her thoughts, he’s so used to touching her mind, and he takes her hand again, brings it up to his mouth, and kisses the inside of her wrist. “I had no idea, sweetheart. I thought I was... imagining things. I didn’t think you could ever want me. Because I want you, I want you so kriffing much, and I thought maybe I just wanted you so much I saw you wanting me when you didn’t.”

And she laughs too, then, and says, eyes glistening, “You stupid, beautiful man, how could I not want you?” She laughs again, wetly. “We really are a pair of idiots.”

Ben is still holding her hand, but she pays that no mind when she throws her arms around his neck. He instinctively lets go of her hand and wraps his arms around her waist. She rises up on her tiptoes again, but this time, he doesn’t run. This time, Ben dips down and kisses her, and he would swear sparks flew at the touch of their lips. He kisses her sweet, and Rey likes that, but his girl has never forgotten being hungry.

She opens her mouth like she’s starving and he’s the only thing that can satisfy her, sweeps her tongue inside his mouth, eager to taste him as completely as she can. A soft huff escapes his lips, and Rey swallows that too, swallows every noise he makes whole. She hooks one of her legs over his hip. His hand slides from her waist to grip her thigh, keep the soft weight of it pressed there. Her hips buck up into his and he hisses.

“Was... was that not good?” she asks, uncertainly, voice small.

“No, no,” he says quickly. “That was _very_ good.”

She bites her lip and looks at him calculatingly, then rolls her hips against him again. His eyes flutter closed and a groan escapes him. Rey sighs at the feel of it, a delicate little sound, and she does it again.

Ben moves his hands down and grabs her ass, lifts her up against him more firmly. Rey brings her other leg up and wraps them around his waist, gripping him with her thighs. He trails kisses down her neck and stumbles towards his bed, lays her down, and keeps kissing her, laying an open-mouthed kiss on the crook of her neck, sucking a bruise into the hollow of her throat.

And she says his name like a prayer, chants it like a spell.

“Ben,” she sighs when his mouth makes its way to her shoulder, when his hands slip under her nightshift and rest warm on her thighs. “Ben,” she laughs when his hands move to her arm-wraps and begin slowly, gently peeling them off, kissing every inch of skin as it’s bared. “Ben,” she moans when his hands slide back under her clothes and caress her stomach.

“Can I...?” he asks, hands gathering fabric and tugging it upward.

In response, she sits up, takes her nightshift and pulls it off in one swift, smooth motion, completely baring her torso to him. Ben’s hands itch to touch her, but he is overwhelmed. Rey takes one hand and settles it on her breast and he cups it in his hand. And he knows she is not helpless, knows she can take him in any way she likes, but every part of her feels so small compared to him when they are together like this, and he likes it.

(Rey likes it too, likes to feel safe and protected, he knows. He can feel it.)

Ben kisses her. He kisses her mouth and trails down again, down her neck to her collarbone and sternum, presses a soft, sloppy kiss between her breasts before taking one of her nipples into his mouth and sucking, grazing it with his teeth. Rey jolts and arches into him. “Ben,” she whispers breathlessly. “ _Ben_.”

She’s flushing a beautiful, rosy-red color, and he thinks it’s the most beautiful shade of red (of anything) he’s ever seen.

He leans up again and kisses her. Her hands sneak under his tunic, pulling at it insistently, and he obeys her clear command, quickly ridding himself of the garment. And then her hands are on his chest, questing and greedy, followed by her hot little mouth, tracing the outline of his muscles with her tongue. Her mouth closes over his nipple, tongue flicking, and he gasps. She smiles into his skin. He buries a hand in her hair and drags her up to his mouth to kiss her again.

“I love you,” he says. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she grins. Then her mouth closes over his earlobe, and he’d never liked his ears before, but _kriff_ , how could he not love them now?

“Rey,” he whimpers. She smiles again, like she does-- he’s noticed-- every time he says her name. Her small, calloused hands slip beneath the waistband of his trousers and stroke his hips.

But although Ben may not have any practical knowledge, he knows enough to know if they’re doing this, he needs to make sure it’ll be good for her, too. So he slides his hand down her shorts and doesn’t do anything at first, just cups her, until she whimpers and says, “Please, Ben. Please,” as she cants her hips, searching for something _he can give her_ , and Maker, that’s a heady realization.

He slips a finger inside and gasps at how she feels around him as she moans. Then he adds another finger, and another, crooking and twisting and listening to her gasp, and when she asks for more, he gives it, until there is nothing left he needs to give and she’s falling over the edge. Her face is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He wants to see it again. Right now.

Ben doesn’t even give her time to recover before he’s laying her back on the bed and kissing her stomach, then the inside of her thighs. “Can I...” he asks, toying with her shorts.

Rey bites her lip. “Yes.”

He slides her shorts off, baring her to his gaze. Suddenly shy, she presses her thighs together. “No, no, sweetheart, c’mon,” he says, catching her calves in his hands and gently pushing her thighs apart. “I want to see you.” She’s never done this before, any of this, and through their bond, he can feel the slight apprehension setting in. “If you want to stop, Rey, we stop right now,” he promises. “We only do what we both want to do.”

She shakes her head insistently. “No, I don’t want to stop. I just...” Her words are failing her, so she sends him a flood of emotion instead. There’s uncertainty, and unfamiliarity-- no one has ever been this close to her, she has never been this vulnerable to anyone, and it is unsettling. That doesn’t surprise him. But the insecurity does. She knows she isn’t like the girls in holovids, and she isn’t sure she’ll be good, or what he likes.

So he sends her his emotions, too: the mirroring uncertainty and unfamiliarity-- he’s never been this close to anyone, either, and he’s not sure he knows what he’s doing, though he feels like he should-- and also the insecurity, because how could someone as beautiful and wonderful as _Rey_ want someone like him.

“We’re not alone,” Rey says. Her hand comes up to cup his cheek and her fingers trace the scar across his face, his scar, _her scar_. “We have each other. We understand each other.”

Ben presses his forehead to hers and kisses her sweetly. “Always,” he promises.

He kisses back down her body (he'll never tire of kissing her skin), kisses her soft belly, her hip bone, the inside of her left thigh, then her right.

“Ben,” she whispers, “you don't have to,” she says, even as he slings one of her legs over his shoulder.

“I want to,” he promises, eyes dark.

This is going to take more skill than using his fingers, he knows, and he is determined. Rey deserves everything, _everything_ he can give her, and many things he cannot. She gasps when his mouth connects with her and buries a hand in his hair. Ben has learned how to read Rey and her body. Between fighting together and their bond, he knows her better than he knows anyone else. He can read the subtle shifts in her telling him what is good and what isn't, and it doesn’t take long for Rey to reach her peak again, hair grasped tightly between her fingers as her body shudders and her hips buck against his face.

“You good?” he asks as she goes boneless, coming up to cradle her head in his hand.

“Yeah,” she nods, and reaches for him. He hisses when her hand wraps around him and strokes, tentatively.

“Stop,” he grits out, and her hand retreats like it was burned. “No, that’s not... it wasn’t bad, Rey. You’re _not_ bad.” And he laughs a little. “The opposite, actually. I was gonna come if you kept that up, and I wanna be inside of you.” His thumb brushes across her cheekbones. “If... if that’s what _you_ want...”

“Yes,” she says immediately. “I want you, Ben.”

He kisses her, fast and hard, and wonders if she can taste herself on his lips. Then her legs are hooking around his waist again as she presses herself insistently against him. “I’m gonna go slow,” he says, “but I don’t know... I’ve heard it might hurt.” Fear curdles in his belly at the thought of hurting her ever again.

Rey runs a hand through his hair, looking up at him tenderly. “You’re not going to hurt me,” she says confidently, and she helps guide him inside.

Once he’s as deep as she can take him, he stops moving completely and asks, “How do you feel?”

“ _Good_ ,” she says, rolling her hips, “I’m fine, please move, Ben, _move_.”

He does, slowly, shallow, building up at her urging until her nails are digging into his shoulders and scraping down his back and she can’t say anything but his name, the sweetest, most profane, most sacred thing he’s ever heard. And suddenly he can’t hold back any longer and he’s collapsing, seeing stars as he comes inside her.

“I’m sorry,” he says as soon as he catches his breath.

“What are you sorry for?” Rey says, eyebrows drawing together.

He rolls off of her, but she refuses to let him go far from her. “It wasn’t very long, and you didn’t come again.”

“I came twice already tonight,” Rey points out. “And it was our first time.” A wicked smirk unfurls on her lips, and his heart rate picks up again. “We can only get better from here.”

“Good,” Ben murmurs. Rey curls into his side, lays her head on his chest, listens to his heart beating under her ear. “I want to feel you come around me next time.” 

Rey hums. “I think I’d like that,” she says lightly.

“I love you,” he says, kissing the top of her head.

“I love you,” she replies with a kiss pressed into his bare chest. “Now sleep, so we can do that again later. We should... practice.”

He laughs, loud and beautiful, and knows she can feel the vibrations. “Well, if you insist.” “Hmm,” Rey says, smiling and yawning, “I think I _do_.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! let me know what you think!


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